My Andy :)

He always knows how to make my day better.

I hope you are having a good weekend!

Greetings from us!

I want you guys to be COMPLETELY honest with me...

I got a Facebook message from one of friend's boyfriend saying "I know you have a lot of questions, and I'd like to explain them to you so call me when you are free." Earlier that night, I had seen his statuses saying "The only thing I regret these past two years is you", "The only thing I'm going to focus on now is God, my daughter, and my education", "Some people don't know what they have until they've lost it", etc... So I knew something was going on between my friend and her boyfriend/"baby daddy" and I did have questions plus I was a little shocked because they recently had a beautiful baby girl. Michelle(her name has been changed for privacy reasons) and I have been friends since high school. We've known each other for years, and I've been involved in her life for awhile. I expected her to reach out to me about the situation instead of him reaching out to me. Anyway, I called her boyfriend, Ben(name has been changed for privacy reasons) and asked him what was going on. Ben complained about how Michelle never does anything to help him out, she is always complaining, she doesn't have a job, and expects him to provide every single thing that she needs. He continued to say that Michelle was very ungrateful and unappreciative. She is always rude and disrespectful to him, and always calling him a kid(she is two years older than Ben). She even goes to the extent of comparing him to her ex boyfriends, and complains about how Ben is always giving her too much attention. So I heard him out and I could feel his pain. Knowing Michelle for all these years, I couldn't help but agree with Ben that change needs to happen. Ben was in pain, and he was hurt. He said he needed to end their relationship completely. Mind you, Ben is the only one working for the family, he pays for the rent, pays for the utility bills, pays for the baby's expenses,(fyi, babies are very expensive, do you know how much one bag of diaper cost? a lot!), pay for the baby's daycare, and also tries to provide for Michelle's personal needs like hair, clothing, and stuff like that, and on top of that he has to put food down on the table for all of them. Ben said he asked her to look for a job to help support them because right now, he is breaking his back to provide for the family and it's becoming overwhelming. It had been seven months since they had their baby, and in Ben and my opinion, we thought it was more than okay for her to get a job. Michelle on the other hand, wants to find her dream job, which is to sit behind a desk and answer phone calls, and she wasn't getting it. Ben said to me, "a mother, who knows that her daughter needs to be provided for, would do any job regardless of what kind, just to help put food on the table." I agreed with him on that. I told Ben, that I agree with him that in situations like this, he needs a good support system to help him get through things. Even if Michelle does not have a job, she could at least do stuff around the house like cooking and cleaning while Ben is out all day working to provide for them. Instead, she waits until Ben gets home to do the laundry, clean, and then cook. She doesn't even ask him how his day went or if he wants anything. Frankly, Ben was DONE. He was sick and tired of going through this emotional roller coaster. At his young age, he has a lot of loans and debts to pay because of Michelle. Ben said he had recently been using loans to pay for stuff around the house because he couldn't afford all those things on his own but Michelle has never ever asked him how he got the money to do all these things for them. She doesn't know how Ben keeps a roof above their heads, and how he provides food for them. I felt for Ben, and I could feel his pain. He said he felt like he was wasting his time with her because honestly he can't see himself spending the rest of his life with a woman who doesn't care about him at all. I asked him if he loved her, and he said yes, but he's not happy. I then told him that just because you love someone doesn't mean you are meant to be with them. I told Ben to Calm down, and to not make any decisions right away because when people are extremely upset, they say things and do stuff that they will regret the next day. I asked him to think about his decision and hopefully, by morning, he should have a clear mind, and then he can decide if he really wants to end the relationship or to keep working on it.

The next day, which was yesterday, Andy and I head out to the Apple store to get our new iPhone 4s. It was a day for us to relax and have a good time as a couple, but as a good friend to Michelle and Ben, I was worried about them the whole time. Andy could tell that I was worried and he asked me what was going on. I told him everything that had happened and also about the conversation that took place between me and Ben. I was hoping Michelle would call me after everything cooled down but she didn't. When we got home, I logged on to Facebook to check up on her but guess what folks, she had deleted me off her page. Can you imagine that? I am pretty sure that Ben had told her that I, as her friend even agreed with him on somethings and I guess she took that to heart. Anyway, I was a little worried about it at first, but after talking to Andy and my mom about a couple things, I just didn't care anymore. Michelle just does not deserve my friendship. When we were in high school, she quit talking to me and to this day, I have no idea why she stopped talking to me. During our "quarreling" time she sent a group txt message to all our friends, telling them how much of a bitch I am, and that I am a slut and a whore, blah, blah, blah, I let that go, and didn't retaliate because I am way above that. After almost a year and half of not talking, she finally asked if we could meet at a coffee shop. I agreed and she apologized. After a few months since we reconciled, she came over to my work place to ask for money, I gave it to her and her response was "I will pay you when I get paid". Not a single 'thank you' from her. Fine, I let that one go too. When she got pregnant, her family were against it and they threw her out of their house. Guess who took her in? I did. She stayed for about 2 months and she finally moved in with Ben. She didn't even tell me when she was moving out of my place into Ben's. I came home from work and found out that all her stuff were gone... once again, no 'thank you'. When she was in labor, no one was there for her, and Ben couldn't be there because he had just started a new job and they wouldn't let him off. I skipped class to be with her throughout the whole thing. Ben was finally allowed to leave, and made it to the delivery but I was there physically and emotionally for her when she had her baby, and this girl still does not appreciate anything that I've done for her. She never said 'thank you'. I figured that Michelle wants someone that will always agree with her regardless of what. I am not like that. I am a realist. To me, if something is wrong, then it's wrong and if it's right, then it's right. To find out that Michelle deleted me off her Facebook kind of pissed me off. I don't think I can handle her and her attitude. If I do something wrong, I'd expect her or any of my friends to let me know that what I am doing is wrong. Friends that lie to you just to be on your side are really not your friends. Friends like that usually want to see you fail. I am not like that, and if she can't handle the truth, then I am really sorry this friendship has to end. Everyone that knows me, knows that I believe in great friendships, but with Michelle, nope, I am done too. She is ungrateful, unemotional, selfish, and rude.

So my questions to you guys are:
1. Am I overreacting to her deleting me off her FB page?
2. Was it in my place to agree with Ben, and to talk to him about the problem?
3. What do you honestly think about this situation?

I hope you guys can help me solve this little problem because I hate stressing over nonsense.

I LOVE this picture of us.

Finally, I made myself some fufu last night and I ENJOYED it.

Living with Andy has its ups and downs. Mostly ups, but one downside that affects me the most is what we eat. He is not a big fan of most African(Ghanaian to be precise) foods that I cook. Don't get me wrong, he loves some of them, for example, jollof rice, fried riped plantain(kokoo), and our normal rice and veggie stew. But when it comes to fufu, kenkey, waakye, banku and all the other hardcore foods from Ghana, he runs away. We all know that it takes hours to make these kind of foods and since Andy doesn't like them I don't have/get the motivation to make them. I had been craving fufu for a long time. Hadn't eaten it in like 3 months. I wanted it so bad but whenever I thought about the time and energy I'd put into making it, I backed out. For some reason, I felt it was selfish to put that time and effort into making fufu just for myself but last night was different. I got home from work, laid down on our couch and started craving it again. This time I didn't back out, I got up, grabbed my purse and head out the door to go get the necessary groceries needed for my cooking. I got back, turned on some music and started cooking. To cut my long story short, I FINALLY cooked my fufu that I had been craving for so long and I really enjoyed it with my groundnut soup. It was delicious, and I am proud of it. I have some leftovers of the soup and I am going to cook some rice to eat it with tonight. :) Below are pictures of my long awaited fufu. hahaha.

For those who do not know me, here is a bit about myself.

Nana Efua is the name. Born on May 3rd in a small country in West Africa called Ghana. Moved to the States in 2004 and then went back home for 7 months and I've been here ever since. 5 foot 8 inches tall. I am not fat and I am not skinny, just right in between..medium. Currently a college student going for nurse anesthesist. 2 more years to go because I had to take a year off due to personal things. My whole family is here in the States including my grandma, aunts, uncles..etc. Currently in a relationship with the most wonderful guy in the world. We've been together for over 2 years and I can feel an engagement coming soon ;) I love music and I love to dance. I've got passion for theater but college life and work does not allow me to participate in any theater things. I love soccer and I love to play it. I am not a tomboy nor a girlie girl, I am right in between. I know when I need to act tomboyish and when to act girlie girl. I love to look nice and I also consider myself fashionable. When people meet me for the first time, they usually think I'm shy and stuck up, but I AM NOT. Once they get to know me, they love me. I personally think I am fun and outgoing :) I am a great believer of great friendships. Once you are my friend I go all the way out for you. I guess this explains why I don't have too many friends. I have a lot of acquaintances but not a lot of friends because I don't pass out my love and generosity out that easily plus only a few people can be trusted these days anyway. Right now I don't have anything super interesting going on in my life except school and work. Although Andy(my boyfriend) and I will be going to Ghana in January so we are getting ready for it. That should be fun and exciting and hopefully I'll have a lot of fun posts to put on here. Well, this is a little about me. I hope you guys find me interesting. ;)

Left behind.

Feeling left behind is one of the most awful feelings ever. Sometimes your friends might move ahead of you, they might become successful before you do, they will get married before you, have kids before you, and even graduate before you do but that does not mean you are a loser. Everyone has their own problems and just because they are ahead does not mean they have it all rosy. They worked for it, so they earned it. I'll admit, life is not fair sometimes. You've probably been working your butt off to get to your goal but sometimes we just hit road blocks and that can slow us down. When life throws lemons at you, make some lemonade with it ;) Most of my friends are graduating from college next year and I still have a year to go due to personal life challenges. Sometimes I feel like I'm just not lucky but you know, everything happens for a reason. I won't fret about it but instead enjoy it and take it as a life experience. Slowly but surely, I will get there someday and so will you.